Beauty is in the wallet of the beholder

Every now and then I get bored of being me and decide to change how I look. If I actually spend money on it, it normally turns out good. If I am poor and want to save some money, it normally turns out terribly, but I never seem to learn my lesson.

When I was 16 I wanted a haircut I'd seen in a magazine, but I'd lost the magazine so I had to try to explain it to the hairdresser myself. It's a "scene" haircut, but "scene" wasn't really a thing back then, so I wouldn't have known how to google it (but if you google scene hair now there's heaps of results showing the haircut I wanted). So I tried my best to explain it. "It's like two different haircuts, a short one and a long one" and I drew a little picture.

Because I was poor at the time, I got one of the trainee hairdressers to do it for me, because they were a lot cheaper. As she was brushing my hair I should have realised it was a bad idea to go the cheap way. The brush got caught in the butterfly at the back of my newly pierced ear; she yanked it and my earring came out.

But no, I was determined not to pay heaps of my haircut, so I let her continue. When she was finished, instead of having beautifully layered scene hair, I had a short bob with long hair underneath.

I wanted to cry. It took a few months to grow out, but in teenage time that feels like five years. People at school even thought I was wearing a wig. But seriously, why on earth would I wear a wig that ugly?

But did I learn my lesson?

Around Easter this year I decided to put a red streak back in my hair. I'd had red streaks in my hair on and off since I was 17. Usually I got them done at the hairdressers, but that was back in Taupo where hairdressers are a LOT cheaper than they are in Wellington. Here, it's about $80 for a "student" haircut. What kind of student can afford that? So I decided to do it myself, because it would be much cheaper. And how hard could it be?

It had been a while since I'd dyed my hair, so I had a lot of regrowth.

I went to the supermarket and stocked up on hair dye. One packet of blonde, two packets of black and one packet of red. It cost around $50. Much cheaper than a hair dresser!

I started off with the blonde.

The regrowth went ginger, and the rest stayed black. This was on Thursday night. The next day was Easter Friday, so all the shops were closed so I couldn't buy more hair dye to fix my mistake. I had work too, so I decided to wear a hat to cover up the ugliness. And just to add to my misery, I chipped my tooth on some toast at breakfast. It was just a tiny chip, but it felt huge and horrible to me. I felt like a hideous swamp beast.

So off I went to work, with my confidence shattered. I told some of my workmates about what had happened, and they all said the same thing "you're so dumb, you should have used colour stripper first. Duh!". As soon as the shops were open the next day, I went out and got some colour stripper. It cost about $40. I put it in my hair, and it made my hair smell like Rotorua (ie. rotten eggs).

It didn't work.

So now I was smelly, and ugly, with a chipped tooth.

The next day I decided that I might as well just try putting blonde in my hair again. I bought another packet of blonde hair dye - $15. I used it, and the roots turned very blonde, and the rest turned dark brown.

By then I was sick of wearing my hat and looking like a monster, so I just decided to give up and put the red and black in.

It didn't turn out anywhere near as good as a hairdresser would have made it look, and for those keeping score at home - it cost me $105. So for the same price I could either do it at home, take three days, and feel ugly, or I could get it done at a salon, take one hour, and look hot.

But did I learn my lesson?

Today I decided that I wanted a fringe. I had a fringe when I was 18, and it was cute. A few of my friends have been getting fringes lately, and they all look hot, so I was jealous. Now I could have paid my friend Yen who is a hairdresser (an amazing one actually - he managed to give me the scene haircut I wanted, but four years later) to do it for me, but nooo I wanted to save money and decided to do it myself. And now I'm sitting here, looking like this.

The lighting is a bit weird, so I've drawn the outline of my fringe for you. Hopefully Roxanna will come home soon to fix it.


Did I learn my lesson?

Probably not.

(You may have noticed the IWAGIATT tag. It stands for It Was A Good Idea At The Time. There will be many, many more posts with this tag)

Panphobia

So, you may have already read my post about why I am scared of spiders. While spiders are the only thing that I'm really really scared of (ie. is probably actually a phobia, not just a fear), there are many things in day to day life which also scare me. I will list some of them, in no particular order.

The only thing to fear is fear itself... and everything on this list. And spiders. And clowns.

#1 Graters

I'll be at my friends place, with them cooking dinner. Because I am a super polite guest, I'll offer to help.

When I have to grate stuff at my house, I just get to eat the rest of it. But how am I meant to explain to my friends that I can't grate the last little bit of cheese/carrot because I'm scared that the grater will eat me?
I've never actually cut my finger while grating stuff, but I did manage to cut my fingers while washing one once, which I'm pretty sure is scientific proof that they're evil.

#2 Escalators

Escalators are pretty much death machines. Yet they are EVERYWHERE! Malls, train stations, airports.

Just look! They have scary teeth!

And can you imagine falling down an escalator that is going up? (Click on the picture, it's animated and took me ages so you'd better look at it!)

YOU WILL BE FALLING FOREVER!!!

#3 The hotel where we have church sometimes

This is a place that seems fairly innocent, but when you put everything together it's terrifying.

Fancy lobby where I clearly don't fit in so everyone judges me for not being as fancy as them.

Small elevator that goes very slow, so we're clearly going to run out of air and die.

Very low ceilings, so clearly we're going to run out of air and die.

Oh, and not just any ceilings,

REFLECTIVE CEILINGS!

Oh, and on top of all that

the floor is bouncy.

#4 Heights

I guess this is a pretty common fear, but how many people get scared just standing on a chair? I get so scared standing on a chair (because it's too high), that I shake, which makes the chair shake, which makes me even more scared, which makes me shake more, etc.

#5 Seeing myself in a mirror when it's dark

Getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom can be dangerous. I nearly have a heart attack once a fortnight from this.

#6 Foam

Not really sure where this came from, because I used to love doing flips into the foam pit at gymnastics when I was younger. But if I touch foam now, I start to dry retch.

(Also kind of included in this is sandpaper and pumice, but foam is the worst)

#7 Crowds

Crowds make me INCREDIBLY anxious. Supermarkets are the worst though. I normally try to go to the supermarket at night so there won't be many people. And this is me now, with my life semi sorted out. A couple of years ago just going leaving my apartment would make me into a nervous wreck.

I can't think of a funny picture for this one, so I'll just leave it for now, and maybe make one later. Any suggestions?

#8 Large animals

I LOVE animals. But when I get up close to some of them, I suddenly start to imagine the hundreds of different ways they could kill me.

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I was going to try to put the proper phobia names next to everything on the list, but most of them didn't even have names. Although a quick google search tells me that other people are as scared of foam as I am.