Kylee

This blog is normally quite silly, so just warning you, this post starts off a bit serious.

This post is dedicated to my friend Kylee.

We first met in 2007, when we both worked at the local movie theatre. She invited me on a road trip one day, and I went along, expecting it to be a bit of fun with a workmate. 

Instead we ended up having a big deep and meaningful, sharing all our secrets, and we’ve been close friends ever since.

In 2008 Kylee injured herself while kickboxing, and instead of getting better, things just got worse. She was bedridden for ages, and finally got a diagnosis of CRPS/RSD. It's a horrible disease which leaves her in constant burning pain, and she was bedridden for ages.  Now she’s in a wheel chair and can walk very short distances. She's determined to still live life 100%, which means that we go on road trips whenever we have the chance.

And every time you put the two of us together, you know that silly stuff is going to happen.

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We can't even go to the supermarket without causing a scene...

And we both absolutely lost it, in the middle of the supermarket. Crying with laughter. 

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A few days later we were in another supermarket. We were in the carpark, and I was pushing her in her chair.

I nearly had a heart attack. I ran faster than I'd ever run before, and caught her just before she smashed into the back of a parked car.

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One of our road trips happened to be in the middle of one of the worst storms we've had in ages. It was snowing as we were driving to Hastings.

Pictured above: Kylee and I driving in the snow.

I was concentrating hard on driving through the snow. Well, I was trying to. Kylee wouldn't shut up about the snowflakes.

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This Christmas, I decided to give Kylee a surprise. I called her from my mobile as I let myself into her house (cos I'm not creepy at all)

 As I hung up I walked in through the lounge door.

 Clearly she was very happy to see her awesomest friend.

This might be confusing to any Northern Hemisphere readers, but in New Zealand Christmas is in summer. And it was a really hot day this year.

 We put our feet into the pool. The water was so cold!

So Kylee repays me for my awesome surprise by pushing me into the pool. Fully clothed.
At first I was worried about hurting her if I dragged her in with me. But then I thought what the heck, she pushed me in so she's going in too. So I dragged her in with me, fully clothed.

We ended up having a water fight and a lot of fun. But I'm still going to remind her about the time she pushed me in the pool ON CHRISTMAS every chance I get.

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If you’re interested in knowing more about Kylee you can check out her website here and the organisation she runs here.

Don't judge me!

I know that I shouldn't care what people think about me, blah blah blah etc. But sometimes I REALLY don't want people to judge me. This is usually when I'm buying fast food.

One time my friend Sam and I had been drinking and watching It's Always Sunny all night, and the next morning we were feeling pretty hungover. We decided to go and get McDonalds.

I got a bacon and egg bagel, and it was the most delicious thing I'd ever had in my life.

But I was still hungover, so I decided that I wanted another one.

After much deliberating over the pros of having another bagel vs the cons of people judging me, I remembered that there was another McDonalds five minutes away. So I made a hungover Sam come with me all the way to another McDonalds just so I wouldn't get judged.

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When I was in Tasmania I discovered how delicious Tower Burgers from KFC are. I ate more KFC in those two weeks than I had in my entire life (I wasn't much of a KFC fan before that).

On my last day in Australia (In Melbourne) I wanted to have one last tower burger, because we didn't have them in New Zealand. I went and got one, and it was soooo delicious I decided to get another one.

But once again, I didn't want people to judge me. I knew that there was another KFC nearby, so I walked there to get another one. As I sat down to eat, a horrible thought struck me. In my head, the map went like this:

WHAT IF THIS WAS THE SAME KFC?? One big KFC, with a kitchen in the middle, and a door on either street. What if the counter staff changed between the Swanston st side and the Elizabeth st side? Even if the counter staff didn't swap over, the kitchen staff would recognise my order, because I asked for extra supercharged sauce! THEY'RE JUDGING ME! I worried about this the whole time I ate my burger, and it completely ruined my last tower burger.

Later I figured out that they were different KFCs. And when I got back to NZ I found out that tower burgers had been released there too, so I didn't even need to have two "last" ones.


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I'm a little bit scared of telling this story, because after this story nothing I write will ever be this funny again. I apologise in advance.

I hit a new low at work one night. After the usual half an hour long "What do I want for dinnerrrrrr?" I decided to get a pie. I went to the bakery and got a potato top pie, and it was sooooo delicious I decided to get another one. But once again, I didn't want people to judge me.

I tried getting my workmate Joe to go get me a pie.

I tried getting Maria to go get me a pie.

I tried getting Lincoln to go get me a pie.

So I decided to man up and get my own pie. But I decided to disguise myself so that they wouldn't recognise me. My hair was down, so I tied it up.

I took my lip piercings out.

I took my work shirt off.

(Ok, so I know that my onesy isn't my work shirt, but I was too lazy to go back and change the other pictures, DON'T JUDGE ME)

I raided the lost property, and found a hat,

 a scarf,

and some glasses.

Convinced that nobody would recognise me, I went back to the bakery.

As soon as I went inside, I started cracking up. I laughed hysterically. I was crying with laughter.

The guy that was working was quite concerned.

When I finally managed to breathe again, I told him why I was laughing so much.

He then judged me at least 53 times more than what he would have originally judged me if I'd just gone and got a second pie.

It also didn't help that a few weeks later when I went to get a pie the guy in front of me bought the last one. I said "Nooooo!!!!" and ran out. Now every time I go in there the guy gets a fearful look in his eyes and checks if there are any potato top pies.