Why I don't like New Years Eve

I will start off this post by saying that I do not like New Years Eve. I never have liked it, except for 1999, because that was pretty awesome. But as I grew up I never saw the fun in it. Getting disgustingly drunk and making a fool of yourself, just because a calendar changes over? WE MADE THE CALENDAR. It never made sense to me.

However, this year was the first year I've been excited for New Years Eve. And I was reminded why I should never get excited about things, because things never go as planned.

This is how I thought New Years would go.

I would drink in the garden with Frank.

We would drink Cider, because cider makes me happy.

We would go to a friend's party.

I would go to work.

I would go back to the party.

I would go home, snuggle up in bed and fall asleep.

This the story of what actually happened. I've written in the past about how I used to be a trainwreck, seems like the old me came back to visit.

First off, it was raining, so drinking in the garden was out of the question, and Frank got called into work, because of the rain.

So instead I drank by myself at home. For breakfast I put chocolate mudshake on my weetbix instead of milk.

So despite the rain and No-Frank, I thought the day was getting off to a pretty good start.

For the rest of the day I played xbox.

Drank more mudshake, played more xbox, drank more mudshake, danced around the room in my undies to Enter Shikari.

Drank some cider.

Pwned all the boys on xbox.

Not gonna lie, it was a pretty good day.

Then I realised that I was meant to be at the party already.

I'd been planning to get another bottle of cider on the way. But the bottle shop was shut,

so I walked allllll the way to the supermarket.

Which was also shut.

So I went to the only place that I could think of that would be open. They didn't have the cider I like, so I bought a bottle of bourbon. I used the last of this weeks money, because the bourbon cost $25 while cider only costs $9. But it was NEW YEARS EVE, and I was going to ENJOY MYSELF, dammit!

I should have remembered that bourbon makes me messy, not happy like cider.

I went to the party, and started drinking my bourbon... It all went downhill from there. I started hitting a random boy. And then hitting on random boys.

I then drunkenly headed off to work... And my memory cuts out about now.

I went to Subway to see my friend Zane who was working, and demanded that he kiss me because it's midnight.

I then filled up a subway cup with half coke, half bourbon and stumbled off to work. BECAUSE THEY WILL NEVER SUSPECT ME IF IT'S IN A SUBWAY CUP!

Once I was there, I couldn't even hang up the coats, much less figure out complicated things such as giving change, so I left. I went and got a pie, and went to see Zane again. He decided to walk me back to the party because he didn't want to leave me alone. I stumbled along, eating my pie, and laughing every time it got all over my face.

1 minute later...

Once I was back at the party, I sat on the couch with friend Y (names have been changed to protect the innocent), and a random person. I figured out that the random person was X (who I've only ever heard bad things about), and punched him in the face, despite only just meeting him.

I then decided that I was going to be the best wingman ever to my friend Z.

At this stage, X was passed out on the couch anyway so he definitely did not need distracting.

I did not want to go to bed, so Z sent Frank to deal with me. I tried to explain to her that I was being Z's wingman by distracting X. She also tried to put me to bed, but I refused, so she decided to take me home. The whole way home, anything she said to me was met with a reply of "your mum".

She gave me a bottle of water, but I was too drunk to figure out how to drink. After five minutes of loud slurping I proudly proclaimed that I'd drank lots of water. She eyed up the bottle, which was still 90% full, and gave me her own water bottle. She left me with rubbish bin, tied my hair back, fixed my fringe and went back to the party.

I had a giant vom and fell asleep, makeup streaked down my face.

And this is why I don't like New Years Eve.