Random conversation

This is a conversation that Amber and I had a while ago. I think it's a good representation of what happens about 80% of the time we talk.

Amber: I don't see how being shot in the leg can be anymore painful than a papercut.

Me: LMFAO, why?

Amber: Its a foreign object going through your flesh. Plus paper cuts hurt and it's a constant danger in my job. Pretty sure I should be paid extra for working in these difficult circumstances.

Me: Pfft, ever had a movie cut? Doubt it. If you should get paid extra I should get paid double that for the risk of movie cuts!

Amber: I have never had a movie cut.. But have you sliced your finger with a bitcher knife? I will win this

Me: What's a bitcher knife?

Amber: ... It's a butcher knife, crossed with a bitch. So when it cuts you, it tells you how ugly you are. Or it may have been a typo.

Me: I don't really know what a butcher knife is (obviously a knife for cutting meat, but I don't know how big/sharp etc.) but I did slice my finger with my flatmate's super fancy bread knife that cuts through EVERYTHING.

Amber: They're big and sharp. And bread knife? Are you even trying to win?

Me: Looks like this. And it's insanely sharp.

Amber: We have one of them.. We use it to cut cheese when we run out of clean knives.
Once I had my arm ripped off by a shark.. And sewn back on.

Me: Once a shark ripped off my arms and legs. I didn't get them sewn back on cos I'm tough.

Amber: Once I was attacked by a drop bear. I lost both of my eyes and my mouth is ripped open like the joker.

Me: Oh is that why? I thought you were just naturally ugly.

Amber: :(

Me: Did I win? :D

Amber: Only because you resorted to calling me ugly

Me: I still won